The boring and insane life.

Ask me anything   Being witty is hard.

It’s not a sundae. It’s a banana split.

(Source: alphalewolf, via dom-sauce)

— 2 weeks ago with 18616 notes
"Why do white people own so many pets?
Because we’re not allowed to own people anymore.
*****
What is the scariest thing about a white person in prison?
You know he did it.
*****
how many Chicago cops does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just beat the room for being black.”
*****
A good looking 50 year old white man is trying to get laid on reality TV. What show are you watching?
To catch a predator.
*****
Why do white girls travel in groups of three or five?
They can’t even
*****
What do you call 64 white people in a room? A full blooded Cherokee."

from various reddit threads

at dinner last night, a coworker was talking about hanging out with his white friends and getting fed up with the racist jokes, and asked them to tell a white people joke.  nobody had any, so he googled and found these. after a few of them, people were a lot less comfortable.

white folks, next time you hear a racist joke, maybe lead with one of these in response.  tag this “I’m white” when you reblog it, if you are.

(via cuterpillar)

(Source: transascendant, via marypoppinthatpussy)

— 2 weeks ago with 50064 notes

bisexualpiratequeen:

I’m trying hard to live by Cat Principles.

1- I am glorious above all things
2- Eat when hungry, sleep when sleepy, play when bored
3- Affection is given and received on my terms and only mine
4- Show displeasure clearly.
5- NO
6- Demand the things you want. If they aren’t given, demand them again, but louder this time.
7- If you are touched when you don’t want to be, say so. If they continue to touch you, make them bleed.

(via owlmylove)

— 2 weeks ago with 111352 notes

2wentysixletters:

I’M GONNA BE OKAY I’VE GOT PEOPLE WHO LOVE ME EVEN WHEN I DON’T REALLY DESERVE IT I’VE GOT THINGS TO LOOK FORWARD TO AND PEOPLE TO LOVE AND DOGS TO PET AND RAIN TO LISTEN TO AND I’M GONNA BE OKAY WE’RE GONNA BE OKAY 

(via australiansanta)

— 2 weeks ago with 89015 notes

lokithesnarkworld:

dolphinboy420:

WHY DO COMPLIMENTS MAKE ME FEEL 2% BETTER BUT INSULTS MAKE ME FEEL 87% WORSE I DONT LIKE THAT

two reasons:

1) we tend to believe the worst about ourselves, and

2) psychologically, we are more likely to accept evidence that supports what we already believe

whoomp. there it is.

(Source: bluelava3, via petewentzsbuttblog)

— 3 weeks ago with 405145 notes

radgoku:

i dont think my friends understand. when i say my room is messy i dont mean “cute” messy where i have a jacket hanging here and there i mean messy as in fuckin trash island where garbage citizens hold elections over who will become the next trash overlord it’s fuckin gross

(via owlmylove)

— 3 weeks ago with 134821 notes

ernbarassing:

the better my hair looks the better i function in school

(Source: ernbarassing, via trust)

— 3 weeks ago with 177250 notes

damngruchy:

supermassiveasshole:

i was teaching my grandma to use computer so we can talk on skype and such but today she went kinda mad at me because “i didnt show her the knitting programme” and i was like what

and it comes out she accidentally opened ms excel and found out its a great way to create knitting patterns

image

my grandma is 82

image

(Source: supermassiveasshole, via owlmylove)

— 3 weeks ago with 473972 notes